I was driving on Tuesday and thought I’d take a little side trip through the AM radio bands.  Naturally I came up against some of the most ludicrous right-wing shows imaginable.  Enter the twilight zone!

My favorite was the Lars Larson show, discussing whether states should regulate the sale of fireworks.  Living in an area of seasonally high fire risk, I personally get a lot of comfort from California’s firework ban.  Ridiculous! says Lars.  Citizens should be free to buy and ignite fireworks without government interference!  Hold individuals responsible for their actions if there are problems like injuries, fires, or deaths!  I think "holding responsible" means "punishing" rather than "forcing restitution", since the latter is impossible in many cases.

Lars says "if you can own a gun, why not a firework?"  Good point.  We should ban guns.

One caller agreed with Larsen that a law against fireworks was bad, as it could result in having more fodder for activist judges.  He pointed out as an example of this danger the case of an astrologer bringing a case against Nasa for cratering the comet (thereby affecting its orbit and any astrological predictions based on it, presumably).  Follow these leaps of logic (wormholes actually):  Too many laws cause activist judges to spring spontaneously into being.  Activist judges cause frivolous lawsuits.

Another caller from a no-firework state was angered that a cop had confiscated his fireworks, when all he was doing was driving around, lighting them off, and throwing them at other cars.  Gee, what could possibly be irresponsible about that?  Apparently Lars didn’t think of anything, at least he didn’t comment on that aspect.  I could think of no better example of why fireworks should be banned so such idiots can be legally apprehended before they cause irreversible damage for no benefit then their own perverse amusement.

It was also interesting to learn that an amazingly high percentage of callers that day are quite content, proud even, to break the law.  The Republicans count these listeners among their "base".  "Base" does seem to be an apt term.  It gives me hope that at least this small sample of the base seems to be on the verge of losing their voting privileges due to immanent felony convictions.

These guys make me proud to be part of the much defamed "elite", which is apparently anyone with a basic education and an even rudimentary grasp of logic.  Lars’ fans clearly aren’t there.  I think that even leaves Lars out, as I’m pretty sure he would engage in his own logical wormholes to disprove that his stated principle of individual responsibility supports flag-burning and the legalization of marijuana.

My conclusion: believing anything said on conservative radio is about as responsible as throwing lit firecrackers at passersby.  Next time, I’ll give Air America a try.